Been There Got Out
Been There Got Out
Been There Got Out

High-Conflict Divorce, Custody, & Co-Parenting Strategists

Narcissism & Abuse

A hand entering a code on a keypad door lock.

How to Protect Yourself From a Stalker: A Private Investigator’s Playbook

You are not paranoid if they really are watching. A private investigator and former police officer lays out the awareness system and the documentation that holds up....
A theatrical mask resting in shadow on a dark surface.

Dealing With a Manipulative Person: What 45 Years of Practice Taught Dr. George Simon

You cannot reason someone into caring. After 45 years working with manipulative people, Dr. George Simon explains why dealing with one is really about how you show up....
A woman sitting in a window seat with a mug, looking outside.

Can a Narcissist Change? It’s Complicated!

Part of you may still be waiting for them to turn that new leaf. A therapist who treats these patterns gives the honest answer, and where to put your hope instead....
A maze of white walls marked with multiple EXIT signs, illustrating how trauma bonding can make leaving feel impossible.

Trauma Bonding is as Powerful as Heroin Addiction: Why It’s So Hard to Escape Toxic Relationships

Leaving isn't the hardest part. Staying gone is. Therapist Matt Phifer on why trauma bonding grips the same part of the brain as heroin, and how to finally loosen its hold....
A hooded figure aiming a camera, illustrating the surveillance and monitoring tactics of coercive control.

Coercive Control: Shedding Light on Invisible Abuse

Abuse without a single bruise. What coercive control actually is, why the courts are only starting to recognize it, and how to name the slow tightening of power over your life....
A hand working a marionette on strings, illustrating the manipulation tactics of toxic personalities.

Common Manipulative Tactics of Toxic People

Nobody likes being played, least of all without realizing it. The predictable phases of a 'manipulationship,' beginning with love-bombing, and how to spot the pattern early....
A crocodile's eye watching just above the waterline, illustrating the lurking dangers of a toxic relationship.

The Top 7 Dangers of Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship costs far more than your peace of mind. Seven of the biggest dangers, to your health, your finances, and your kids, and why getting out matters....
A couple in a cafe, one tenderly kissing the other's hand, illustrating the push-pull of intermittent reinforcement in a toxic relationship.

Don’t Be Fooled: Intermittent Reinforcement and Protecting Ourselves From Emotional Abuse

He did everything right, then disappeared, then came back. How intermittent reinforcement turns hope into a hook, and why it makes an abusive relationship so hard to leave....
A lone figure shining a searchlight into darkness, illustrating the slow search to see a partner's true nature.

How Do People Realize Their Partners are Narcissists? (Part 2 of 2)

Denial, ignored red flags, the gut feeling you talked yourself out of. More real stories of the moment it finally clicks that your partner is a narcissist. Part two....
A wooden Pinocchio puppet with a comically long nose — a visual metaphor for a pathological liar.

The Pathological Liar: What They Are, Why They Do It, And How To Deal With Compulsive Lying

He kept lying with the evidence right in her hand. Lisa on living with a pathological liar, why they do it, and how to hold onto your reality when the truth keeps shifting....