Been There Got Out High-Conflict Divorce, Custody, and Co-Parenting Strategists
Been There Got Out

Narcissism & Abuse

A maze of white walls marked with multiple EXIT signs, illustrating how trauma bonding can make leaving feel impossible.

Trauma Bonding is as Powerful as Heroin Addiction: Why It’s So Hard to Escape Toxic Relationships

Leaving isn't the hardest part. Staying gone is. Therapist Matt Phifer on why trauma bonding grips the same part of the brain as heroin, and how to finally loosen its hold....
A hooded figure aiming a camera, illustrating the surveillance and monitoring tactics of coercive control.

Coercive Control: Shedding Light on Invisible Abuse

Abuse without a single bruise. What coercive control actually is, why the courts are only starting to recognize it, and how to name the slow tightening of power over your life....
A hand working a marionette on strings, illustrating the manipulation tactics of toxic personalities.

Common Manipulative Tactics of Toxic People

Nobody likes being played, least of all without realizing it. The predictable phases of a 'manipulationship,' beginning with love-bombing, and how to spot the pattern early....
A crocodile's eye watching just above the waterline, illustrating the lurking dangers of a toxic relationship.

The Top 7 Dangers of Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship costs far more than your peace of mind. Seven of the biggest dangers, to your health, your finances, and your kids, and why getting out matters....
A couple in a cafe, one tenderly kissing the other's hand, illustrating the push-pull of intermittent reinforcement in a toxic relationship.

Don’t Be Fooled: Intermittent Reinforcement and Protecting Ourselves From Emotional Abuse

He did everything right, then disappeared, then came back. How intermittent reinforcement turns hope into a hook, and why it makes an abusive relationship so hard to leave....
A lone figure shining a searchlight into darkness, illustrating the slow search to see a partner's true nature.

How Do People Realize Their Partners are Narcissists? (Part 2 of 2)

Denial, ignored red flags, the gut feeling you talked yourself out of. More real stories of the moment it finally clicks that your partner is a narcissist. Part two....
A wooden Pinocchio puppet with a comically long nose — a visual metaphor for a pathological liar.

The Pathological Liar: What They Are, Why They Do It, And How To Deal With Compulsive Lying

He kept lying with the evidence right in her hand. Lisa on living with a pathological liar, why they do it, and how to hold onto your reality when the truth keeps shifting....
A chalk-style icon of a figure tossing something into a bin, illustrating how a narcissist discards a partner after the breakup.

Breaking Up and the Discard: How a Narcissist Acts at the End of a Relationship

While you're at your lowest, they move on without a backward glance. Inside the narcissist's 'discard': why it's so cold, so calculated, and so hard to make sense of....
A smartphone glowing on rumpled bedsheets, illustrating secret phone use and betrayal in a relationship.

Porn Addiction and The Cheating Husband

When does porn stop being a habit and start becoming betrayal? Where the line sits, what compulsive use can signal, and how it quietly erodes trust and intimacy....
A macaque with a hand near its mouth, illustrating how hard the subtle signs of emotional abuse can be to recognize.

Recognizing the Signs of Emotional and Psychological Abuse

It took Lisa two years to say it out loud, and a sister to name it as abuse. How to recognize the signs of psychological abuse, and stop doubting what you already feel....

New from Been There Got Out

Parental Alienation book
Parental Alienation Book

Now available

Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You

If your children are being used as weapons — you’re not imagining it. This is your roadmap.

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