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We offer hope, guidance, and community to people struggling in toxic relationships so you can find the strength you need to get your sanity back.
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Chris is a certified high-conflict divorce coach and the co-founder (and male half) of Been There Got Out. He has a diverse professional background as a financial planner, entrepreneur, and sales executive.


Chris developed the Been There Got Out podcast, manages BTGO’s website, YouTube channel, Facebook page, and all the background technology they use to run the business. He also specializes in writing high-conflict parenting plans via BTGO’s partnership with


Through their coaching program, Legal Abuse Support Group, broader community on social media, and 2023 book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances,” Chris and Lisa support and guide people in these harrowing situations so that they can avoid common mistakes and have the best chance at getting themselves (and their kids) through it all as unscathed as possible.

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Lisa Johnson is the co-founder of Been There Got Out, a high-conflict divorce coach and certified domestic violence advocate who has successfully represented herself through scores of court appearances.


Her case was published in the Connecticut Law Journal in March 2021 and is now being used as legal precedent. Her live testimony helped pass Jennifers’ Law in Connecticut, the third state in America to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include “coercive control.”


Lisa and her partner, Chris, the male half of Been There Got Out, coach people in high conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting hell so they have the chance of the best outcome in family court and beyond. They also offer a weekly Legal Abuse Support Group for those dealing with narcissistic opponents in legal matters.


Their book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” was released in March 2023.

We know exactly how you feel because we have spent many years in the trenches ourselves. We bring a unique perspective to helping others in the same circumstances. You simply won’t find anyone else better able to support you, with our combination of:
  • Empathy from having been through it ourselves
  • Both male and female points of view
  • Practical first-hand knowledge and experience
  • State-certified domestic violence advocate
  • Professional background in education
  • Thousands of hours of research
  • A host of resources and connections
  • A supportive community of people who have also been in toxic relationships
Other programs out there are offered by attorneys, authors, or therapists – people who are educated, but haven’t lived it. Those that are run by people with first-hand experience tend to focus on one segment of the issue: healing. We’ve found that this is far from enough. How can a person truly heal if they never fully understood the issues, never realized what got them into such a situation in the first place, or, worst of all, if they’re still stuck in the toxic relationship? Our program meets you where you’re at. We’ll help you get through the worst of it, not just pick up the pieces after you’ve done the hardest work in isolation.


Get "Un-Stuck"

Are You in a Toxic Relationship?

So many people in toxic relationships spend years, even decades, unable to act because they don’t understand why their lives are so filled with chaos and conflict.

Our FREE QUIZ is your first step to being able to make informed choices.

Know the Dangers

Toxic relationships aren’t just unpleasant, they can be dangerous to you and your children. Learn how with our free video.

Get Inspired

To deal with a toxic relationship from a position of strength, you need hope, guidance, and community. Get your first dose of hope with this video of people who have been where you are.

Our Journey

The Nightmare

We were both in the same position you’re in now. Our marriages were spiraling out of control. We felt like, “I just can’t deal with this and I want it to be over!”

We felt totally alone and completely stuck.

We had no idea where to turn. We had no idea that the problems we faced are actually pretty common. The root cause has a name, and when you learn about toxic personalities, that explains everything.

The Injustice System

Chris’ divorce took THREE YEARS and cost more than $300,000 for no reason other than his ex-wife is severely toxic, and she extended the legal conflict to exert power and control.

Lisa’s divorce didn’t take that long, but it did cost TEN TIMES the $10,000 she thought it would cost, again only because her ex-husband’s behavior in court made it as difficult as possible. And, she has now been back in court, just to enforce the terms of their agreement, for more than FIFTY appearances. She’s only now, six years later, nearing a resolution.

What Went Wrong… and Right… for us

The only reason for all of this WASTED TIME, MONEY, AND EMOTIONAL ENERGY was that we didn’t realize what was driving our toxic partners’ behavior until later… we didn’t LEARN FAST ENOUGH.

But we did make it out in one piece.

Even better, in the wake of our own toxic relationships, we somehow found healthy love together and supported each other throughout all the chaos. We’re a true emotional “rags to riches” story and we have never been happier.

An Epiphany

At one point, Chris said to Lisa that, if he could go back in time to, say, six months before his marriage imploded to coach himself on all he’d learned, he could have easily saved himself 18 months in the legal system and $150,000 in legal fees. He could have gotten more favorable settlement terms. And, maybe most importantly, he could have avoided a ton of mental anguish, fear, and uncertainty.

Our New Mission

We didn’t know it at the time, but this conversation was the genesis of Been There Got Out.

We have seen a lot of people through some awful situations. Helping others struggling in toxic relationships is deeply gratifying, and helps us to continue to heal from what we went through ourselves. It’s a true labor of love for us!

You Can Do Better

You Don’t Have to Make the Mistakes We Made

Yes, we survived, and we’re thriving today. But we had no clue what was really happening… for years, and we could have avoided numerous mistakes if we only knew then what we know now.

The problem was that we had to learn on the fly, and we didn’t always learn fast enough.

And it’s not just us. It takes an average of seven attempts for someone to successfully get out of an abusive relationship.

We know people who have lost their pensions, custody of their children, security deposits on apartments, and years of their lives… people who have paid unnecessarily high prices because they just didn’t understand how to protect themselves from early on in the process, when many critical mistakes are made.

But you have something we didn’t have: access to knowledgeable, experienced grizzled veterans of all this craziness. You have us.

How We Can Help

We can help you through it faster, cheaper, better, and with less fear and less pain.
We know what it takes, not only because we’ve been through it ourselves, but because we’ve connected with thousands of people in the same situation. The stories are remarkably similar! This is a problem that’s at the same time widespread and greatly misunderstood. You are not alone!


People We’ve Helped


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An Approach Built on Experience & Research

We know what it takes, not only because we’ve been through it ourselves, but because we’ve connected with thousands of people in the same situation. The stories are remarkably similar! This is a problem that’s at the same time widespread and greatly misunderstood. You are not alone!

Overcoming Denial

Being in a toxic relationship can be overwhelming. Maybe you feel alone – like nobody else would understand. The people closest to you might not understand, but trust us: you are far from alone!

We know hundreds of people who were in the same position you are and who got through it to find happiness and peace on the other side.

You can do this!


Having expert guidance from someone who understands narcissism and other toxic personality disorders can make a huge difference.

You can not only understand WHY your partner acts that way, but learn to protect yourself and even anticipate their actions and reactions.

We can educate you to help you get through what promises to be one of the most difficult experiences of your life. You can do this!


No matter how much they love you, your friends and family won’t understand. Nobody does, unless they’ve been through it.

Our supportive community is going through it together and can give you the critical support that makes all the difference.

What would it mean for you to have a whole group of people who totally get it?

Our Program

Our online course is a comprehensive program that covers everything you need, every step of the way. It includes practical, interactive education, regular group and one-on-one calls, and a supportive community of people going through the same thing you’re going through. The program is available via a monthly membership model, so you will only pay for the help you need.

Membership is by invitation only, and registration is not always open*. Why not? Because we want success stories! And for you to be successful, we need to limit the size of each group to a manageable number.

If you think you can be one of our success stories, and you’d like to be invited to join the next time we open registration, please fill out the form below to get on the waiting list. There’s no obligation, and you’ll get the first shot to sign up the next time we open our course.
If your situation requires special attention, we offer a premium “TLC” membership level that is open at all times. Please contact us to learn more.
Will it be Easy? No. Worth it? Abso­lutely.