Chris is a certified high-conflict divorce coach and the co-founder (and male half) of Been There Got Out. He has a diverse professional background as a financial planner, entrepreneur, and sales executive.
Chris developed the Been There Got Out podcast, manages BTGO’s website, YouTube channel, Facebook page, and all the background technology they use to run the business. He also specializes in writing high-conflict parenting plans via BTGO’s partnership with CustodyXChange.com.
Through their coaching program, Legal Abuse Support Group, broader community on social media, and 2023 book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances,” Chris and Lisa support and guide people in these harrowing situations so that they can avoid common mistakes and have the best chance at getting themselves (and their kids) through it all as unscathed as possible.
Lisa Johnson is the co-founder of Been There Got Out, a high-conflict divorce coach and certified domestic violence advocate who has successfully represented herself through scores of court appearances.
Her case was published in the Connecticut Law Journal in March 2021 and is now being used as legal precedent. Her live testimony helped pass Jennifers’ Law in Connecticut, the third state in America to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include “coercive control.”
Lisa and her partner, Chris, the male half of Been There Got Out, coach people in high conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting hell so they have the chance of the best outcome in family court and beyond. They also offer a weekly Legal Abuse Support Group for those dealing with narcissistic opponents in legal matters.
Their book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” was released in March 2023.
- Empathy from having been through it ourselves
- Both male and female points of view
- Practical first-hand knowledge and experience
- State-certified domestic violence advocate
- Professional background in education
- Thousands of hours of research
- A host of resources and connections
- A supportive community of people who have also been in toxic relationships
We were both in the same position you’re in now. Our marriages were spiraling out of control. We felt like, “I just can’t deal with this and I want it to be over!”
We felt totally alone and completely stuck.
We had no idea where to turn. We had no idea that the problems we faced are actually pretty common. The root cause has a name, and when you learn about toxic personalities, that explains everything.
The Injustice System
Chris’ divorce took THREE YEARS and cost more than $300,000 for no reason other than his ex-wife is severely toxic, and she extended the legal conflict to exert power and control.
Lisa’s divorce didn’t take that long, but it did cost TEN TIMES the $10,000 she thought it would cost, again only because her ex-husband’s behavior in court made it as difficult as possible. And, she has now been back in court, just to enforce the terms of their agreement, for more than FIFTY appearances. She’s only now, six years later, nearing a resolution.
What Went Wrong… and Right… for us
The only reason for all of this WASTED TIME, MONEY, AND EMOTIONAL ENERGY was that we didn’t realize what was driving our toxic partners’ behavior until later… we didn’t LEARN FAST ENOUGH.
But we did make it out in one piece.
Even better, in the wake of our own toxic relationships, we somehow found healthy love together and supported each other throughout all the chaos. We’re a true emotional “rags to riches” story and we have never been happier.
At one point, Chris said to Lisa that, if he could go back in time to, say, six months before his marriage imploded to coach himself on all he’d learned, he could have easily saved himself 18 months in the legal system and $150,000 in legal fees. He could have gotten more favorable settlement terms. And, maybe most importantly, he could have avoided a ton of mental anguish, fear, and uncertainty.
Our New Mission
We didn’t know it at the time, but this conversation was the genesis of Been There Got Out.
We have seen a lot of people through some awful situations. Helping others struggling in toxic relationships is deeply gratifying, and helps us to continue to heal from what we went through ourselves. It’s a true labor of love for us!
You Can Do Better
You Don’t Have to Make the Mistakes We Made
Yes, we survived, and we’re thriving today. But we had no clue what was really happening… for years, and we could have avoided numerous mistakes if we only knew then what we know now.
The problem was that we had to learn on the fly, and we didn’t always learn fast enough.
And it’s not just us. It takes an average of seven attempts for someone to successfully get out of an abusive relationship.
We know people who have lost their pensions, custody of their children, security deposits on apartments, and years of their lives… people who have paid unnecessarily high prices because they just didn’t understand how to protect themselves from early on in the process, when many critical mistakes are made.
But you have something we didn’t have: access to knowledgeable, experienced grizzled veterans of all this craziness. You have us.
How We Can Help
An Approach Built on Experience & Research
Membership is by invitation only, and registration is not always open*. Why not? Because we want success stories! And for you to be successful, we need to limit the size of each group to a manageable number.
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