We were both in the same position you’re in now. Our marriages were spiraling out of control. We felt like, “I just can’t deal with this and I want it to be over!”
We felt totally alone and completely stuck.
We had no idea where to turn. We had no idea that the problems we faced are actually pretty common. The root cause has a name, and when you learn about toxic personalities, that explains everything.
The Injustice System
Chris’ divorce took THREE YEARS and cost more than $300,000 for no reason other than his ex-wife is severely toxic, and she extended the legal conflict to exert power and control.
Lisa’s divorce didn’t take that long, but it did cost TEN TIMES the $10,000 she thought it would cost, again only because her ex-husband’s behavior in court made it as difficult as possible. And, she has now been back in court, just to enforce the terms of their agreement, for more than FIFTY appearances. She’s only now, six years later, nearing a resolution.
What Went Wrong… and Right… for us
The only reason for all of this WASTED TIME, MONEY, AND EMOTIONAL ENERGY was that we didn’t realize what was driving our toxic partners’ behavior until later… we didn’t LEARN FAST ENOUGH.
But we did make it out in one piece.
Even better, in the wake of our own toxic relationships, we somehow found healthy love together and supported each other throughout all the chaos. We’re a true emotional “rags to riches” story and we have never been happier.
At one point, Chris said to Lisa that, if he could go back in time to, say, six months before his marriage imploded to coach himself on all he’d learned, he could have easily saved himself 18 months in the legal system and $150,000 in legal fees. He could have gotten more favorable settlement terms. And, maybe most importantly, he could have avoided a ton of mental anguish, fear, and uncertainty.
Our New Mission
We didn’t know it at the time, but this conversation was the genesis of Been There Got Out.
We have seen a lot of people through some awful situations. Helping others struggling in toxic relationships is deeply gratifying, and helps us to continue to heal from what we went through ourselves. It’s a true labor of love for us!