There’s something wrong in your relationship, and it’s become enough of a problem that you can’t ignore it any longer. You’ve decided to try to figure out what the issue is. That’s a good first step, but now you’ve got some work to do.

First and foremost, if you are in physical danger, close your laptop and get yourself someplace safe. Your town may have a domestic violence center, or you can go to the police or a friend’s or relative’s home while you start to figure things out.

With that out of the way, even if you’re physically safe, you may be a wreck emotionally. You might feel empty, sad, confused. You may be questioning or doubting yourself. You may be wondering what happened to your once-wonderful romance.

Everyone’s situation is different, and just because you’re unhappy in your relationship does not necessarily mean that your partner has a personality disorder of the kind we focus on here at Been There, Got Out.