Pathological envy is a trademark of the narcissistic personality, and they often love to display contempt toward others who are actually having a good time, because their own self-loathing does not allow them to feel emotions such as love or joy.

Holidays in particular can trigger this type of personality because there is an expectation of pleasure in sharing others’ company during a time of celebration. I recently stumbled on an Instagram post by a woman “was_married_to_a_narc” supposedly originally written by a narcissist. It resonated deeply, as I could clearly hear words like these coming straight out of my ex-husband’s mouth:

“I keep telling myself: ‘Look at those inferior imitations of humans, slaves of their animated corpses, wasting their time, pretending to be happy.’ Yet deep inside, I know I am the defective one. I realize that my inability to rejoice is a protracted and unusual punishment meted out to me by my very self. I am sad and enraged. I want to spoil it for those who can. I want them to share my misery, to reduce them to my level of emotional abstinence and absence. I hate humans because I am unable to be one.”

I have never been a materialistic person, and actually can’t think of any particular object I covet. On holidays and birthdays, I get far more pleasure out of finding and presenting other people with something I know will make them happy. What I always ask for, when people close to me insist