After more than three years, more than $300,000 in expenses, countless hours of wasted time, and untold emotional anguish, my divorce finally (finally!) became official on September 11th, 2017.

Only eleven days later, I was served papers; my narcissist ex-wife had filed for a change in our custody arrangement.

More often than not, such is life when you get out of a marriage to a high-conflict partner.

Lisa and I have been working on Been There, Got Out for several months, and we’re in the process of writing blog articles to get some good content up on the site covering some of the core issues that people in high-conflict relationships can face.

But when I was served with this summons, it was a cold reminder that I’m not now in some new phase where peace has replaced conflict and I can simply get on with my life.

I’ve learned a lot about high-conflict people over the past three-plus years, and this is textbook. They are known for driving up legal costs, scuttling agreements at the last minute, and restarting legal battles over and over.

Why do they do this? It’s about power and control.. Over our three-year legal fight, my ex slowly saw her power erode, and she lost her ability to control me (though she still frequently tries.)

Over time, I hav