You are the client, which makes you the person in charge of your own case. That is easy to forget when everyone in the room has a title and you do not, but the decisions belong to you, because you are the one who has to live with them. Managing your case well means understanding the process, choosing where to spend money and energy, staying on top of your attorney’s work, and presenting yourself well in and out of court. None of it requires a law degree. It requires knowing what you are trying to achieve.
Running your case
The people in the system
- Is my judge biased, and what if everyone knows each other?
- Should I represent myself?
- What resources exist besides lawyers?
Your attorney works for you
Premela G. Deck, who is both an attorney and a clinician and has watched a great many families move through this system, puts the relationship in terms worth remembering.
I remind my clients regularly: your attorney is your employee. Get advice from them, they know what they’re doing, but you also get to say, no, that’s not how I want to go about this. I don’t want to do it that way.
Premela G. Deck, JD, PhD, LICSW
That is not permission to ignore legal advice, which would be a costly mistake. It is a reminder that strategic decisions, what to fight for, what to concede, and what you can live with, are yours. A good attorney will welcome an engaged client. One who resents questions is probably not the best fit.
If you want someone to explain the process in more detail and for far less cost than a lawyer, that is much of what BTGO’s coaching does. Legal advice itself should come from your attorney.
Frequently asked questions
How involved should I be in my own divorce case?
Closely involved in strategy and decisions, while deferring to your attorney on law and procedure. You are the one who must live with the outcome, so the choices about what to pursue and what to concede are yours.
What if I disagree with my attorney’s approach?
Say so directly and ask them to explain their reasoning. You can decline a strategy you cannot live with. If disagreements are constant, or they resent being questioned, that may signal a poor fit.
How do I avoid making mistakes in family court?
Meet every deadline, follow every order even when your ex does not, keep communications factual, never lie or exaggerate, and ask your attorney before doing anything you are unsure about legally.
Related: all answers · working with a lawyer · understanding the court process
