Been There Got Out High-Conflict Divorce, Custody, and Co-Parenting Strategists
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All the wisdom, knowledge, and experience that we never wanted.

Educating Yourself About Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

When you’re closely involved with someone who has a high-conflict personality due to a “Cluster B” personality disorder, like narcissism, one of the most important things you can do is educate yourself on the subject. It’s amazing how, as you come to understand how narcissists think, their behaviors, while still...

Overcoming Denial in Abusive Relationships

If you suspect that something is just not right in your relationship, your first challenge is to wake yourself up and take an honest look at your situation. Maybe you’ve been on “cruise control” for years in your relationship. Maybe the relationship with your partner has deteriorated over time and...

Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship - Natalie Hoffman

In my last post, I shared some of what writer and life coach Natalie Hoffman had to say about warning signs of emotional abuse in her interview with Stacy Brookman, who put together the Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit. In part 2, I’ll share Natalie’s thoughts on what to...

Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship - Natalie Hoffman

I just finished listening to a podcast from this weekend’s Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit put together by Stacy Brookman, a Resilience and Life Storytelling expert. She interviewed Natalie Hoffman, a writer and life coach for women of faith into destructive relationships, who also runs Flying Free, an education...

My ex-wife is a severe malignant narcissist. We’ve been apart for more than four years, and divorced for one (your math is correct; the divorce took three years, and for no reason at all other than her high-conflict nature.) After all this time, most divorced people would have moved on...

“All children deserve parents. But not all parents deserve their children.” Years ago, during my high school English teaching days, I used to post a daily quote, and have my students respond in writing. I loved how the words would encourage quiet self-reflection, and the kids’ differing opinions made for...

After nearly eighteen years of a fairly stable relationship, I learned that my husband had begun an affair with a girl thirty years his junior. Stunning for anyone, yes, but more so was that my partner, whose judgment I had always respected, confessed that he and the girl had actually...

Narcissist Holiday

Pathological envy is a trademark of the narcissistic personality, and they often love to display contempt toward others who are actually having a good time, because their own self-loathing does not allow them to feel emotions such as love or joy. Holidays in particular can trigger this type of personality...

Commentary on Dina McMillan and How To Prevent Abuse & Domestic Violence Being the parent of a teen daughter, and having just finished a domestic abuse advocate a certification course, I keep thinking about what I can do for my kids to make sure that they don’t end up in...

Coming to grips with the fact that you’re in a toxic relationship with a high-conflict partner is hard enough, but deciding what to do about it can be even harder. And you may be facing these decisions while you’re in an emotionally compromised state. It’s likely that you’ve been emotionally...

After more than three years, more than $300,000 in expenses, countless hours of wasted time, and untold emotional anguish, my divorce finally (finally!) became official on September 11th, 2017. Only eleven days later, I was served papers; my narcissist ex-wife had filed for a change in our custody arrangement. More...

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