Been There Got Out
Been There Got Out
Been There Got Out

High-Conflict Divorce, Custody, & Co-Parenting Strategists

educating yourself

A crocodile's eye watching just above the waterline, illustrating the lurking dangers of a toxic relationship.

The Top 7 Dangers of Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship costs far more than your peace of mind. Seven of the biggest dangers, to your health, your finances, and your kids, and why getting out matters....
A menacing graffiti monster looming over a small painted child, illustrating a parent's fear that their baby is with a monster of a co-parent.

My Baby’s with a Monster!

Few things frighten a parent more than watching their child, at any age, fall under a toxic partner's control. How to help without pushing them further away....
A lone figure shining a searchlight into darkness, illustrating the slow search to see a partner's true nature.

How Do People Realize Their Partners are Narcissists? (Part 2 of 2)

Denial, ignored red flags, the gut feeling you talked yourself out of. More real stories of the moment it finally clicks that your partner is a narcissist. Part two....
A blobfish, used humorously to illustrate what happens to aging narcissists who lose their supply.

What Happens to Narcissists As They Grow Old?

Age strips a narcissist of the looks, charm, and attention they always relied on. What tends to become of them once you're long gone: isolation, bitterness, and blame....
A single glowing lightbulb in the dark, illustrating the moment of realizing a partner is abusive.

How Do People Realize Their Partners are Narcissists? (Part 1 of 2)

For many, it begins with a single word typed into a search bar late at night. The moment people realize their partner is a narcissist, told in their own words. Part one....
A shadowy figure in a hat and trench coat, illustrating the hard moment of accepting that a partner is actually abusive.

Accepting That Your Partner is Actually Your Adversary

The person you love is now working against you. Why accepting that your partner has become your adversary is the hardest, and most protective, shift you can make....
A person slumped head-in-hands over a laptop, illustrating the frustration of relying on ineffective solutions.

Avoiding Ineffective Solutions

Couples counseling can rescue a healthy marriage and sabotage your chances with an abuser. Why the usual fixes backfire in a high-conflict relationship, and what actually helps....
A glowing human head with an illuminated brain over a DNA strand, illustrating understanding the nature and severity of a personality disorder.

Understanding the Nature & Severity of Your Predicament

Something's wrong, and you can't ignore it any longer. The clear-eyed first step in a high-conflict situation: understanding what you're actually dealing with before you plan your way out....
An open book beneath a glowing lightbulb atop a stack of books, illustrating educating yourself as power over NPD and BPD.

Educating Yourself on NPD/BPD: Quora as a Resource

Once you understand how a narcissist thinks, the behavior stops feeling so crazy. How to use Quora to educate yourself on NPD and BPD, one real answer at a time....
A person hang-gliding high above the landscape, illustrating the courage of committing to take action.

Committing to Take Action

Realizing you're in a toxic relationship is hard. Deciding what to do about it, while you're still healing, is harder. On finding the resolve to finally get out....