Been There Got Out
Been There Got Out
Been There Got Out

High-Conflict Divorce, Custody, & Co-Parenting Strategists

educating yourself

A parent handing a school backpack to a child during a custody exchange.

What Legal and Physical Custody Actually Mean — Straight From a High-Stakes Divorce Lawyer

Legal custody and physical custody are not the same thing, and confusing them costs people leverage. A high-stakes custody attorney explains the real difference....
An attorney meeting with clients across a desk in a law office.

How to Divorce a Narcissist Without Losing Years of Your Life

Ninety percent of what hurts in a high-conflict divorce is the part lawyers cannot fix. A divorce attorney explains where to spend your money and where to stop....
A watercolor paint palette and brush on a plain background.

When Your Anxious Teen Won’t Talk: How Art Gives Them Another Way

Some teenagers will not talk about the divorce, and pressing them backfires. A community arts educator explains why making something opens a door that questions close....
An adult and a young child playing together indoors.

Supervised Visitation Is Not a Punishment: What It Actually Is

Most parents hear supervised visitation and feel judged. A visitation specialist explains what really happens in those hours and why it protects the relationship....
A psychologist taking notes on a clipboard during a session.

What Happens in a Custody Evaluation — A Forensic Psychologist Explains

A custody evaluation can feel like being put under a microscope. A forensic psychologist walks through what evaluators actually look at and what they are trying to learn....
A person filling out legal forms at a desk with a book open beside them.

Representing Yourself? What a 40-Year Litigator Wants Every Pro Se Litigant to Know

Nobody hands you the courtroom rules when you represent yourself. A litigator with forty years in the room explains how to look and sound like you belong there....
Hands marking up financial documents and statements on a desk.

Financial Abuse in Divorce: How to Take Your Power Back

You may have been told for years what you're entitled to. After three decades inside the legal system, Karen Chellew explains how to find out what's actually yours....
A maze of white walls marked with multiple EXIT signs, illustrating how trauma bonding can make leaving feel impossible.

Trauma Bonding is as Powerful as Heroin Addiction: Why It’s So Hard to Escape Toxic Relationships

Leaving isn't the hardest part. Staying gone is. Therapist Matt Phifer on why trauma bonding grips the same part of the brain as heroin, and how to finally loosen its hold....
A hamster running in its wheel, illustrating the exhausting, going-nowhere feeling of being stalked through the courts.

Stalking Through the Courts: Post-Separation Abuse in the Legal System

For an abuser, the courtroom becomes another weapon. How endless filings turn into a form of stalking, and how to fight back when the system keeps you tied to your ex....
A hand working a marionette on strings, illustrating the manipulation tactics of toxic personalities.

Common Manipulative Tactics of Toxic People

Nobody likes being played, least of all without realizing it. The predictable phases of a 'manipulationship,' beginning with love-bombing, and how to spot the pattern early....