High-Conflict Divorce, Custody, & Co-Parenting Strategists

In many states you can ask to include your children on your protective order, or seek a separate order on their behalf, when they have been harmed or are genuinely at risk. Whether it is granted depends on your state’s law and the specific facts, and courts look closely at whether the request protects the children or is being used to cut off a co-parent. Some states also let you include pets. Because this sits at the intersection of protection and custody, get local advice before you file so the request is framed accurately.

When children can be included

Courts are most receptive when there is evidence the children themselves were abused, threatened, or endangered, or witnessed violence that put them at risk. A protective order that covers the children can set no-contact terms, temporary custody, and safe exchange arrangements. What it is not is a shortcut to winning custody, and judges are alert to that difference.

Protection and custody are tangled here

Including your children can affect your custody case, and your custody case can affect the order. That is why framing matters: an order sought to keep genuinely endangered children safe reads very differently from one that looks tactical. If your real concern is your co-parent’s behavior toward the children rather than direct danger, there may be better-fitted custody tools. A local advocate or attorney can tell you which option might be most helpful.

Do not forget pets

If a pet is being used to control or threaten you, ask whether your state includes animals in protective orders. Been There Got Out flags this because abusers often use pets as leverage.

Some states even include pets in protective orders, so make sure to ask if a protective order is warranted in your situation.

Been There Got Out, Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances

Sorting out whether to include your children, and how to frame it, is the kind of judgment call BTGO’s coaching helps parents think through. You are free to start with any information you’ve learned here.

Frequently asked questions

Can my children be on my restraining order?

In many states, yes, if they were harmed or are at genuine risk. It can set no-contact terms, temporary custody, and safe exchanges. Rules vary by state, so confirm yours with a court advocate or attorney.

Will putting my kids on the order help me get custody?

It is not a custody shortcut, and courts watch for that. An order should protect children who are actually at risk. If your concern is a co-parent’s behavior rather than direct danger, custody tools may land better.

Can I get a separate restraining order for my child?

In many states you can seek an order on a child’s behalf. Whether it is a separate order or an addition to yours depends on your state and the facts, so get local guidance on the right form.

Can pets be included in a protective order?

Some states include pets, because animals are often used as leverage. If that applies to you, ask the court or an advocate whether your state allows it when you file.


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