Been There Got Out
Been There Got Out
Been There Got Out

High-Conflict Divorce, Custody, & Co-Parenting Strategists

emotional abuse

A woman sitting by a window in morning light, looking out thoughtfully.

The Narcissistic Discard: Why It Happens and How You Recover

Being discarded is not proof you were disposable. A psychotherapist explains what actually happened, why it landed when it did, and how people come back from it....
Hands marking up financial documents and statements on a desk.

Financial Abuse in Divorce: How to Take Your Power Back

You may have been told for years what you're entitled to. After three decades inside the legal system, Karen Chellew explains how to find out what's actually yours....
A maze of white walls marked with multiple EXIT signs, illustrating how trauma bonding can make leaving feel impossible.

Trauma Bonding is as Powerful as Heroin Addiction: Why It’s So Hard to Escape Toxic Relationships

Leaving isn't the hardest part. Staying gone is. Therapist Matt Phifer on why trauma bonding grips the same part of the brain as heroin, and how to finally loosen its hold....
A hooded figure aiming a camera, illustrating the surveillance and monitoring tactics of coercive control.

Coercive Control: Shedding Light on Invisible Abuse

Abuse without a single bruise. What coercive control actually is, why the courts are only starting to recognize it, and how to name the slow tightening of power over your life....
A hand working a marionette on strings, illustrating the manipulation tactics of toxic personalities.

Common Manipulative Tactics of Toxic People

Nobody likes being played, least of all without realizing it. The predictable phases of a 'manipulationship,' beginning with love-bombing, and how to spot the pattern early....
A crocodile's eye watching just above the waterline, illustrating the lurking dangers of a toxic relationship.

The Top 7 Dangers of Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship costs far more than your peace of mind. Seven of the biggest dangers, to your health, your finances, and your kids, and why getting out matters....
A wooden Pinocchio puppet with a comically long nose — a visual metaphor for a pathological liar.

The Pathological Liar: What They Are, Why They Do It, And How To Deal With Compulsive Lying

He kept lying with the evidence right in her hand. Lisa on living with a pathological liar, why they do it, and how to hold onto your reality when the truth keeps shifting....
A chalk-style icon of a figure tossing something into a bin, illustrating how a narcissist discards a partner after the breakup.

Breaking Up and the Discard: How a Narcissist Acts at the End of a Relationship

While you're at your lowest, they move on without a backward glance. Inside the narcissist's 'discard': why it's so cold, so calculated, and so hard to make sense of....
A macaque with a hand near its mouth, illustrating how hard the subtle signs of emotional abuse can be to recognize.

Recognizing the Signs of Emotional and Psychological Abuse

It took Lisa two years to say it out loud, and a sister to name it as abuse. How to recognize the signs of psychological abuse, and stop doubting what you already feel....
A child huddled and hiding under couch cushions, illustrating the effects on children growing up in a high-conflict home.

The Effects on Children Growing Up With Domestic Abuse

Children don't have to be hit to be harmed by abuse at home. What growing up around domestic violence does to a developing brain, and how staying 'for the kids' can backfire....