The fact that you are asking is worth taking seriously, and getting help now is both a health decision and a legal one. Using alcohol or substances to manage unbearable stress is common and understandable, and it can escalate. In a custody case it also carries specific risk, because a high-conflict ex will highlight the issue, and courts take substance use seriously. The good news is that seeking help voluntarily reads very differently from being caught: a documented history of getting treatment shows responsibility, whereas concealment that surfaces later damages your credibility.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1-800-799-7233. If you are struggling with substance use: SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, free and confidential, 24/7.
Why it happens
You are often managing sustained stress, disrupted sleep, isolation, and acute loneliness. Something that reliably takes the edge off has obvious appeal. Most people in this position are not making a reckless choice; they are trying to get through the days. Shame tends to keep people from getting help, and is also most likely to make things worse.
The custody reality check
If you are in a custody case, assume your substance use will come up. Courts weigh how it affects parenting capacity, and respond well to a parent who identified a problem and addressed it. What damages a case is denial or testing that contradicts your own claims. If you are worried, act now rather than hoping it stays private.
Getting help
The SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) is free, confidential, and available at any hour, and it can connect you with local treatment options. Your doctor is a reasonable starting point. Peer programs, whether twelve-step or alternatives, cost nothing. Many people begin with a single conversation with a therapist rather than a formal treatment program, and that is a legitimate start.
One safety note: if you are drinking heavily every day, do not stop abruptly without medical advice, because alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. Talk to a doctor about doing it safely.
Treat the cause
Addressing the substance use without addressing the sleeplessness, isolation, and unrelenting stress underneath it leaves the pressure that produced it. All need attention, which is another argument for a therapist who understands what you are going through rather than treating the drinking in isolation.
None of this is medical advice, and BTGO are not clinicians. If you want help managing the case-related pressure while professionals help with the rest, that is what our coaching does.
Frequently asked questions
I am drinking too much to cope with my divorce. What should I do?
Take it seriously. Call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357, free and confidential, or speak with your doctor. Seeking help voluntarily also protects you far better than being caught later.
Will substance use be used against me in custody?
Assume it will be raised. Courts weigh how it affects parenting. A documented history of voluntarily seeking help reads very differently from denial that comes out under testing.
Should I hide my drinking from my lawyer?
No. Your attorney cannot protect you from something they do not know about, and surprises are far more damaging mid-case than disclosure handled early.
Is it safe to stop drinking on my own?
If you have been drinking heavily every day, do not stop abruptly without medical advice, because alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous. Talk to a doctor about how to do it safely.
Where can I get free help with substance use?
The SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, is free and confidential 24/7. Peer programs including twelve-step groups cost nothing.
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