About BTGO
We've been there. We got out. Now we help you do the same.
We're Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson — high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists. We aren't lawyers and we aren't therapists. Both of us went through this system ourselves, learned how it actually works, and have spent every day since making sure you don't pay what we paid to find out.
Co-Founders · Been There Got Out
Why people trust us
The proof behind the reputation
Lisa represented herself through scores of court appearances. Her case was published in the Connecticut Law Journal and is being used as legal precedent.
Read the decisionLisa's live testimony helped pass Jennifers' Law in Connecticut — at the time the third state in America to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include coercive control.
Watch the testimonyA certified high-conflict divorce coach and a certified domestic violence advocate. Both of us have also successfully represented ourselves in family court.
Private clients, one case at a time, for years — and both of us are usually on every call. The patterns in this section came out of that work, not out of a textbook.
Attorneys, judges, custody evaluators, and therapists, on the record. When a client brings us something we haven't seen, we go and find the person who has.
The first covers high-conflict divorce end to end. The second, on what happens when your ex turns the kids against you, carries a foreword by Bill Eddy.
Our story
The universe gave us an unexpected shove
Neither of us saw this coming
Chris came up through technology and sales — a decade of financial planning, then software, then a business of his own. Lisa was a high school English teacher who also built an online fashion business. Neither of us saw this mid-life career change coming when we met and started dating in 2015.
Then came the epiphany
As both of our divorces dragged on and we bled money in the legal system, we had an unexpected epiphany: the root cause of all the conflict and chaos — first in our marriages and later in the divorce process — was that our former partners behaved in ways entirely consistent with narcissistic personality disorder.
Together, we took a self-directed crash course in everything related to personality disorders, high-conflict divorce and custody battles, and co-parenting with high-conflict exes. We managed to navigate our own cases and got out intact. But, boy, had we made some avoidable mistakes along the way.
"You know, if I could go back in time with all we've learned, I'll bet I could have saved at least half of the three years, half of the $300,000, and who-knows-how-much of the emotional energy and fear my divorce ended up costing."
Chris, in Lisa's kitchen — the moment BTGO was bornAnd just like that, Been There Got Out was born
From there, the conversation turned to how many others must be dealing with the same problems and the same unnecessary suffering.
We initially imagined writing a book, not pursuing a whole new career together. But as we developed the book — which we'd ultimately publish in 2023 — we kept running into people who needed practical, actionable advice on how to deal with their own cases, and we began coaching. We've never looked back.
What we didn't expect
Chris, who was still dealing with complex PTSD and a hostile co-parenting relationship with a return to family court a constant threat, was concerned that doing this kind of work might be retraumatizing. Happily, that was not the case at all. We both found that work with our clients helped us heal ourselves, much as a recovering addict in a 12-step program benefits tremendously from helping others facing the same challenges.
Our sweetie pies
To our delight, we discovered that those targeted by abusers tend to be the most kind, loyal, creative — fill in whatever wonderful traits you have. That's why your own personal terrorist selected you. Our people are a joy to work with. We affectionately call you our "sweetie pies." Whatever makes you a sweetie pie, please don't lose those things. The world needs you!
The two of us
Meet Chris and Lisa
You get both of us, with both male and female perspectives; two strategists who turned lived experiences into a passionate mission to change the world, one case at a time.
Lisa Johnson
Lisa is the co-founder of BTGO, a high-conflict divorce strategist, and a Connecticut-certified domestic violence advocate. She represented herself through dozens of court appearances in New York and Connecticut; her case was published in the Connecticut Law Journal in March 2021 and is being used as legal precedent. Her live testimony helped pass Jennifers' Law in Connecticut — at the time the third state in America to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include "coercive control."
She came to this from teaching and writing. She taught high school English and creative writing in Norwalk, and English as a second language in New York and Hungary, and she holds a master's in ESL education. She has also been a working writer and editor since 1991 — author of Rite of Passage: Tales of Backpacking 'Round Europe, a freelancer for magazines including Writer's Digest and Mothering, and an editor at John Wiley & Sons. Both show up in the work: Lisa designs BTGO's educational programs and co-wrote both of our books.
She has run her own online retail businesses since 2000, and since April 2021 she has led our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group, which now draws people from around the world. MS in ESL Education, University of Bridgeport; BA in Honors English and Education, SUNY Albany. She is fluent in Spanish.
Chris Barry
Chris is a certified high-conflict divorce coach and strategist, and co-founder of BTGO. He came up through technology, spent nearly a decade selling financial planning products and services, then moved into B2B software for a string of startups — one of them acquired by Microsoft, where he stayed on — before building an online community of his own that grew to 30,000 members.
The financial planning years are the ones that matter most here. Money runs through every one of these cases — what a settlement is actually worth in ten years, what support really covers, what a strategy costs to pursue — and it's the part most coaches can't speak to. The sales years shape how we teach negotiation and communication. The technology is why Chris builds and runs everything behind BTGO — the podcast, the website, and the systems the business runs on.
Inspired by Lisa, he has also represented himself successfully in family court, and he specializes in writing parenting plans built for high-conflict co-parenting. BA, Lehigh University; MBA in Management Information Systems, Seton Hall. He's an avid golfer, and his many interests are led by an unhealthy devotion to the Miami Dolphins.
Want to talk it through with both of us?
Book a free 25-minute call
And this is Rizzo
Rizzo is the world's most beloved legal abuse support dog (as well as the only one). She loves everyone — dogs, cats, people, everyone… except our pet snake. She is often the answer to questions involving the origin of spills, "misplaced" food, or shredded egg cartons.
What we stand for
Our values
Education
Chris paid lawyers a quarter of a million dollars, and not one of them taught him the things we teach our clients every day.
Education is empowering. When you are thrust into the unfamiliar and crazy world of family court and have to make decisions that will have an impact on you and your kids for years to come, all while your ex throws flaming cars in your path, you can't take a backseat and let others decide your life.
Actionable Advice
We focus on what you can do to protect yourself and your children through concrete action, in and out of court.
Understanding how the system works and knowing your rights are only the first steps. You have a lot to deal with, and we don't waste a minute lamenting the broken family court system or the challenges of co-parenting with an extraordinarily difficult person.
Inclusivity
Intimate partner abuse is not a gender problem.
It's not a socio-economic problem, a geographical problem, or any other demographic problem. It's a global, human problem that can afflict anyone. We work with moms and dads who are targets of abuse, wherever you are in the world.
Leadership
We are not here to be popular.
We work in a high-stakes, deeply emotional field, where outcomes have a profound impact on the lives of loving parents and their children. We are laser-focused on our clients' success. We embrace controversial topics like parental alienation (some claim it doesn't exist; our clients and countless attorneys show us daily that it does). We care about helping you, not avoiding the wrath of trolls whose agendas lead them to give harmful advice.
Holistic Approach
We help you build and lead your team by filling in the gaps between what lawyers aren't trained to do and what therapists don't understand.
We understand that these situations are not just about "winning" in court; they affect everything in the family — from mental health, to finances, to the well-being of children. You and your kids have a whole new chapter to write, and it takes a team to make sure it's a great one.
Empathy
Most people don't fail; they run out of energy before getting to the finish line.
If your ex is like the people we deal with every day, you're unfortunately in for a marathon. We know firsthand how overwhelming these situations are (that's the "Been There" part of BTGO). We approach every case with genuine empathy, recognizing your trauma and fear and treating your story with respect and sensitivity. We will always meet you with non-judgmental compassion, because having the right support is everything.
Should we work together?
What winning actually looks like
Most people arrive wanting a moment — the judge finally sees it, your ex is exposed, and someone says out loud that you were telling the truth. After what you've been through, wanting that is human. We wanted it too.
Family court rarely works that way. Cases usually end in something partial and negotiated, and the vindication people hope for often never arrives; the system isn't built to deliver it.
So we aim at something else, and we think it's the better target. Everyone comes through this intact. Your kids are OK. You're still standing, with a life you can build on. That's the win. Anything beyond it is welcome.
How close you get depends partly on us and partly on you. The clients who do best are the ones willing to change how they operate — to stop reacting, to document differently, to communicate differently, and sometimes to do the opposite of what their instincts are screaming. If what you're looking for is someone to help you punish your ex, we'll say so on the first call. Nobody comes out ahead when the fit is wrong. But if you're willing to work at it, we can usually help. That part is entirely your call.
Not just us saying it
What our clients say
What the judge said
"You did a wonderful job today. I have to tell you that you did better than most attorneys!"
A family court judge, to our client, at the end of a long day in court — as reported to us · March 2025"Having someone in my corner that I can trust means everything to me."
A BTGO client · October 2021"I love the comprehensive and compassionate approach you bring to the table."
Community member · January 2026"I haven't been so calm as I was after our last call. You gave me a confidence I didn't have before."
A BTGO client · October 2021"I defended myself for the first time as a pro se… It felt so much better than having an attorney. It was wonderful… this is everything I ever wanted!"
A BTGO client · July 2024"Your advice means everything in this insanity. Not knowing what to do is way worse than doing hard things. Way worse."
Community member · February 2026"I have spoken to three therapists and at least three divorce coaches over the last 5 months and the discovery call with you and Lisa had been more helpful than all of that combined."
A BTGO client · June 2022Real quotes, shared with us by real clients and community members.
If you're in it right now
Where to start
You don't have to be our client to get help today.
The AnswerHub
98 straight answers to the questions our clients actually ask, organized into 14 topic hubs. Free, no signup.
Browse the answersThe books
Two of them. The first covers high-conflict divorce end to end; the second is about what happens when your ex turns the kids against you.
See both booksThe free workshop
How to communicate with your ex without destroying your case or losing your mind — the single highest-leverage skill we teach.
Watch the free workshop372 expert interviews
Attorneys, judges, custody evaluators, and therapists — on the record, answering the hard questions. Our whole method is built on finding the expert and asking.
Listen & readIt's going to be ok… really.
Wherever you are in this, you don't have to figure it out alone.
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