Are you dealing with a toxic relationship, divorce, or custody battle with a narcissist?
Being in a relationship with a toxic partner can be devastating to you and your children. If you’ve had enough suffering, you need to wake up… and take action.
Take a deep breath… You are not alone!
We’ve been there, we understand, and we can help.
If you’re just realizing that this is your situation, there are 3 things you need to do right away:
Step One
If you feel like nothing you do is ever good enough, if you’re constantly blamed for things that aren’t your fault, and if there’s endless conflict in your once-wonderful relationship and you don’t know why, the problem might be that your partner is a narcissist or other toxic personality.
This problem is widely misunderstood, and it’s way more common than you might think. It’s also very serious – in some cases even life-threatening.
If you or someone you care about might be in a toxic relationship, take our FREE quiz.
In about 5 minutes, you’ll understand that you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.
Step Two
Know the Dangers
of Toxic Relationships
Being in, and getting out of, a relationship with a toxic partner can be incredibly destructive. It can take years longer and cost far more than a “normal” situation. It’s critical to understand the dangers early in the process so you can take the initiative and protect yourself and your children.
A CYCLE of MISERY
PHYSICAL DANGER
The THREAT to CHILDREN
UNFAVORABLE LEGAL OUTCOME
QUALITY of LIFE “AFTER”
WASTED TIME
PHYSICAL DANGER
Step Three
Make a Plan to
Overcoming Denial
For many, accepting that the situation has become intolerable is the biggest hurdle, and they stay “stuck” for years.
Understanding the nature and severity of your situation
Despite the proliferation of narcissism and other toxic personalities in our society, most people don’t truly understand these issues.
Avoiding ineffective solutions
Narcissists cannot be “cured,” and investing time and money in couples therapy wastes both and postpones a real solution.
Accepting that your partner is actually your adversary
It can be so hard to accept that the person you love is really your extremely ruthless enemy… but you’ll need to do it.
Building your support network
You will need lots of support, but friends & family – and even many therapists – won’t understand why your situation is fundamentally different.
Planning and committing to act
Developing your plan to end the conflict and protect yourself and your children is a crucial challenge.
Overcoming their devious tricks to keep you
Your toxic partner may use a variety of manipulative tactics to keep you under his or her thumb.
Navigating a legal system that's stacked against you
Overburdened courts and unaware attorneys are not likely to understand the conflict, and your partner’s outrageous behavior could actually be rewarded.
Building your new life
You may have completely lost your center due to years of emotional abuse, but you can get it back and have a great life again in time.
Our Team
Lisa Johnson is the co-founder of Been There Got Out, a high-conflict divorce coach and certified domestic violence advocate who has successfully represented herself through scores of court appearances.
Her case was published in the Connecticut Law Journal in March 2021 and is now being used as legal precedent. Her live testimony helped pass Jennifers’ Law in Connecticut, the third state in America to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include “coercive control.”
Lisa and her partner, Chris, the male half of Been There Got Out, coach people in high conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting hell so they have the chance of the best outcome in family court and beyond. They also offer a weekly Legal Abuse Support Group for those dealing with narcissistic opponents in legal matters.
Their book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” was released in March 2023.
Chris is a certified high-conflict divorce coach and the co-founder (and male half) of Been There Got Out. He has a diverse professional background as a financial planner, entrepreneur, and sales executive.
Chris developed the Been There Got Out podcast, manages BTGO’s website, YouTube channel, Facebook page, and all the background technology they use to run the business. He also specializes in writing high-conflict parenting plans via BTGO’s partnership with CustodyXChange.com.
Through their coaching program, Legal Abuse Support Group, broader community on social media, and 2023 book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances,” Chris and Lisa support and guide people in these harrowing situations so that they can avoid common mistakes and have the best chance at getting themselves (and their kids) through it all as unscathed as possible.
Clients Say …
